Top 25 funny Chuck Norris quotes

Funny quotes about Chuck Norris always make us laugh. However, if you do laugh, make it quick, ok? Chuck Norris may hear you and then you run for your life. Presenting you our hand picked top 25 funny Chuck Norris quotes…

Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. Death is just too scared to tell him that.

Behind Chuck Norris’s beard it ain’t his chin, but another fist.

Chuck Norris doesn’t laugh, he chuckles.

Chuck Norris never sleeps, he is always awake.

Chuck Norris can’t get the wrong answer to a question. It’s just other answers are bad.

Chuck Norris can smell underwater.

If Chuck Norris spits against the wind, the wind changes the direction.

Chuck Norris looked at the Moon once. Now we always see just one side of it.

Chuck Norris slapped the Headless Rider.

Chuck Norris never uses any map or other navigational means – he ALWAYS goes in the right direction.

When Chuck Norris was eight, he said that 1 + 1 = 5 and he was right.

When kids sleep with a teddy bear, Chuck Norris sleeps with a grizzly bear.

Chuck Norris can solve a Rubic’s cube with a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he missed 3 calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck gas tank…that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language.

Chuck Norris shot the Nazis plane just by pointing his finger and saying “bang”.

The only time Chuck Noris made a mistake was when he thought, he made a mistake.

Chuck doesn’t use any rod when he is fishing. He just tells the fish to come out of the water and number by twos.

Chuck Norris never puts fuel into his car. It just rides, because it’s scared shitless.

The end of the world won’t come yet, because right now Chuck Norris is wondering how it all ends.

The truth is out there – scared of Chuck Norris.

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